Holding it together...

There seem to be days lately where I am just holding it together and not much else. Yesterday was one of those days... I went to my parenting class, which is basically a $50 joke designed to make parents feel bad about getting a divorce, then they turn around and tell you that everything will be okay. I was surrounded by people talking about their boyfriends and girlfriends and future plans for marraige and all I could think was "HELLOOOOOO... Have you lost your minds? You're in a divorce seminar! Didn't you learn your lesson the first time? Why don't you at least give yourself some time to heal and process? At least for your kids..." And I did say something to that affect once which had the teacher proud of me and the rest of the people attending the seminar quite unhappy...
Back to the holding it together thing. After I got home from this thing, I ate some lunch and talked to the neighbor for a bit. Then Gary came back early. He wanted to talk about his therapy session and "us". There are many times that I want to scream that there is no "us" we're getting divorced. But I didn't, I tried to listen... Then I walked out. After so many years of being mistreated, all I can hear when he talks "Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie..." and I grow very tired of listening to it.
Well, I've gotta run now, talk to you all soon...