Well, I better get back to editing pictures now... I'll talk to you all tomorrow! =)
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Free Photography Day!
Well, I better get back to editing pictures now... I'll talk to you all tomorrow! =)
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
My Favorite Things...
As much as I loved photography, I decided to do it for a living... I went to school for it, I worked multiple jobs doing it, and even worked for myself in Indiana for a while... It never got old. I never wanted to give it up. I loved every new photo I ever took... Alas, I did take a break from it though. I gave up on the dream. I decided to start looking at the more responsible career choices. And it wasn't until the responsible career choices didn't work and that I had people telling me to give photography a second shot that I picked it back up...
I am now finally to the point of today's blog... The photo... The photo that is posted far above this paragraph. That photo. Yep. That photo is the one that renewed my love for photography. How? I don't really know for sure... It could be the wonderful time I had on that photo shoot. It could be how easy it was for me to want to sit down and edit those pictures. It could be the inspiration I saw in every little moment from that day and the next while photographing and editing those photos. Or it could be the fact that it was so simple, and adding just one detail made it all the more beautiful to me.
Whatever it is about that photo, I am so thankful to have it. That photo not only renewed my love for photography, but for the business as well.
Thanks for reading everyone, I'm off to find some more inspiration in my favorite things... =)
Monday, September 19, 2011
Inspired...
Some changes will be made... This blog used to be my main blog. The one where I posted my feelings, my life, and my innermost thoughts. I will not be doing that anymore. Now, I will instead be using it to focus solely on my photography and nothing else. And if I do start going towards everything else, PLEASE remind me that I do have a blog just for that! =)
Soooo... You may wonder how this picture inspired me to want to do a photo shoot? And what hide and seek had to do with it? Well, I will tell you that. It all started when I saw a friend of mine hanging out with another friend and challenged him to come find me in a mobile game of hide and seek. I photographed different landmarks and texted them to him. Well, after about 30 minutes of this, I happened upon this sign... I used to drive by it everyday. Well, this time it seems different to me... I texted him and said hey, I want to take your picture. Here. Bring your _____. Haha... Yeah, I'm not going to tell you what he's to bring. That would ruin the surprise. ;)
Well, I'll see you all later. Please stop by my Facebook page...
The Girl Behind The Camera
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Friday, October 22, 2010
Yeesh...
It's October! Halloween is fast approaching... Then Thanksgiving. And oh my goodness, Christmas comes after that... This is my favorite time of year, but it really all seems to be moving too fast this year.
I feel as though I just moved down a few weeks ago, when in reality, I've been back home for months.
I feel as though I just moved down a few weeks ago, when in reality, I've been back home for months.
Friday, September 3, 2010
September
It's a beautiful September day. The temperature is in the high eighties/low nineties. The best part of this day is that I do not have to work and I am completely alone for the first time in what seems to be forever with nothing to do. Nothing but housework that is.
I dropped my children off at school this morning and came back to my lovely little home to enjoy a cup of coffee. I then decided to change my clothes and attend a meeting with a friend in Richland. After this meeting, I went grocery shopping (without a list, which is a brave thing for me to do) at the Piggly Wiggly. It was nice to be able to walk around the store with just the lull of the music in the background to listen to, but what was nicer was the fact that when my little shopping trip was over, the store owner brought my groceries to my vehicle for me.
Upon arriving at my house, I unloaded my groceries and decided that it was lunch time. I scanned the refrigerator for something appetizing and finally came to the conclusion that I just had to make a grilled cheese sandwich. After fixing my sandwich, I brought my plate and the Stewart Webster journal to my bedroom and proceeded to eat my lunch and drink another cup of coffee in my bed while reading this weeks newspaper. This is a Friday ritual that I love, and I can never let my children know because "We never bring food out of the kitchen and dining room".
After my lunch, I was still not ready for the housework that I have been needing to do all week, so I decided to go for a walk. In order to do this, I must first make sure that the dogs are occupied so that I do not have visitors along the way. So I go out and fill two bowls with dog food and two bowls with water, close the gate behind me, and run as fast as I can towards the street before I am spotted.
I walk up the street, past my boyfriend's parents' house, turn at the corner and head towards Broad Street. Once on Broad Street, I begin to look at the houses. The one on the corner here was the "Cookie Man's" house, he was also known as Mike Bush. Then, a little further up the street is where my dentist's assistant lives, and next door to her is the superintendent for Stewart County Schools. It dawns on me that I know nearly everyone in these houses. And of course, while I'm out for my leisurely walk, the dental assistant stops me to ask me how my teeth are doing, which I'm sure that someone in a large city never gets. It's something I rather enjoy. As I approach the next street corner, I see someone that any newcomer would be weary of. I'm not sure of his name, but most people just call him Hawk, he used to play for the Harlem Globetrotters, until he came home one time and smoked some marijuana that had been soaked in embalming fluid. He hasn't been right since, but he's harmless. He asked me for the millionth time today if that was my uncle that owned the shop and where was he now, that he missed talking to him.
I continued on my walk after speaking with Hawk. I walked to the post office and was not surprised when I didn't have any mail. I then headed for the square, which was filled with businesses when I was growing up. Now there are few stores, and most of them are open for very few hours. I walked into the one place that I can count on to never change, the Lumpkin Drug Store. Ms. Mattie was still working there and greeted me with a hug. I spoke with her for a few minutes and then hugged her again before I continued on with my walk. I went down Main Street this time. Immediately around the corner from the drug store is a closed down restaurant called Michelle's and across the street is my one time dream house. I continue down the street and marvel at the beautiful homes. When I reach the end of the street I am amazed that I did not feel the urge to cross the street to avoid the house that as a girl I was always afraid was going to swallow me whole if I got to close to it. I will never understand why I found that place so scary, but I still do today...
Alas, I am back home, and yet again putting off housework. And I think I will put it off once more for a short nap, but then I will surely get it down. Maybe.
I dropped my children off at school this morning and came back to my lovely little home to enjoy a cup of coffee. I then decided to change my clothes and attend a meeting with a friend in Richland. After this meeting, I went grocery shopping (without a list, which is a brave thing for me to do) at the Piggly Wiggly. It was nice to be able to walk around the store with just the lull of the music in the background to listen to, but what was nicer was the fact that when my little shopping trip was over, the store owner brought my groceries to my vehicle for me.
Upon arriving at my house, I unloaded my groceries and decided that it was lunch time. I scanned the refrigerator for something appetizing and finally came to the conclusion that I just had to make a grilled cheese sandwich. After fixing my sandwich, I brought my plate and the Stewart Webster journal to my bedroom and proceeded to eat my lunch and drink another cup of coffee in my bed while reading this weeks newspaper. This is a Friday ritual that I love, and I can never let my children know because "We never bring food out of the kitchen and dining room".
After my lunch, I was still not ready for the housework that I have been needing to do all week, so I decided to go for a walk. In order to do this, I must first make sure that the dogs are occupied so that I do not have visitors along the way. So I go out and fill two bowls with dog food and two bowls with water, close the gate behind me, and run as fast as I can towards the street before I am spotted.
I walk up the street, past my boyfriend's parents' house, turn at the corner and head towards Broad Street. Once on Broad Street, I begin to look at the houses. The one on the corner here was the "Cookie Man's" house, he was also known as Mike Bush. Then, a little further up the street is where my dentist's assistant lives, and next door to her is the superintendent for Stewart County Schools. It dawns on me that I know nearly everyone in these houses. And of course, while I'm out for my leisurely walk, the dental assistant stops me to ask me how my teeth are doing, which I'm sure that someone in a large city never gets. It's something I rather enjoy. As I approach the next street corner, I see someone that any newcomer would be weary of. I'm not sure of his name, but most people just call him Hawk, he used to play for the Harlem Globetrotters, until he came home one time and smoked some marijuana that had been soaked in embalming fluid. He hasn't been right since, but he's harmless. He asked me for the millionth time today if that was my uncle that owned the shop and where was he now, that he missed talking to him.
I continued on my walk after speaking with Hawk. I walked to the post office and was not surprised when I didn't have any mail. I then headed for the square, which was filled with businesses when I was growing up. Now there are few stores, and most of them are open for very few hours. I walked into the one place that I can count on to never change, the Lumpkin Drug Store. Ms. Mattie was still working there and greeted me with a hug. I spoke with her for a few minutes and then hugged her again before I continued on with my walk. I went down Main Street this time. Immediately around the corner from the drug store is a closed down restaurant called Michelle's and across the street is my one time dream house. I continue down the street and marvel at the beautiful homes. When I reach the end of the street I am amazed that I did not feel the urge to cross the street to avoid the house that as a girl I was always afraid was going to swallow me whole if I got to close to it. I will never understand why I found that place so scary, but I still do today...
Alas, I am back home, and yet again putting off housework. And I think I will put it off once more for a short nap, but then I will surely get it down. Maybe.
Monday, August 23, 2010
I Know Love Exists... :)
As I sit here tonight, I can't help but to smile. I'm smiling because even after everything I've been through, I know love exists. That's right people, love exists!
Love exists in my children. In the way that they run to give me a hug when I pick them up after a long day at work. In the way they try to help around the house. Love exists!
Tonight, we got a new puppy... Her name is Charli. That's right, Charli... No "e" because she's a girl. She's a lab mix, my boyfriend's sister gave her to me. And she's so sweet. The first thing Micheal did was pick her up and immediately tell her that her name was Charli. Yes, he named yet another dog, and it stuck because Kyle began to call her that too and it grew on me. The next thing he did was say "I love you Charli." My little boy loves our new dog. Love does exist.
Another way that I know love exists: When I moved back to town and immediately fell into a pattern of old mistakes, I did a sorry job of getting out of that pattern, I went into another bad pattern. I came back to my sister's house one day after work and immediately grabbed a drink. I then proceeded to make myself into an idiot. This guy I knew stopped to pick on my sister, and I went out and insisted that he pull his truck over and come talk to me because I hadn't seen him since he was little. He stayed half the night and talked to me. The next night, he came back (although I will never understand why). The night after that, which was quite possibly the worst that week, he came back again and I realized this was probably one of the nicest guys I knew and he would make a pretty good friend.
Fast forward to a week later- I was still in a bad pattern of mistakes... Still drinking, but not as much. He continued to come by every night, and I continued to enjoy hanging out with my new found friend. I kissed him on the cheek that night when he left. And when he went to say something about it, I really kissed him.
The next day, I pretended that it had never happened. I didn't want to start a new relationship, and especially not with him... I kissed him goodbye again that night though, I just really liked those kisses.
One night I poured my heart out and explained to him that I didn't want anything other than what we were right then; friends that would kiss every now and then, but just friends. I told him that I wasn't the person that he needed in his life and gave him every reason in the world as to why he should leave and never come back. He kissed me that night and continued to come over every night.
After yet another night of me giving this wonderful man every reason in the world why I wasn't the person for him, he left, kissed me goodbye, and I sat crying in the living room sure that it had worked this time. My sister was sure that I was nuts for trying to make him run away and then crying when I thought it had worked. That night, I got the longest text I had ever seen on my phone. It basically said that he would always be there waiting until I was ready, he wasn't giving up on me. I started to let myself fall in love with him after that text, but refused to let him know it.
I would still test him by giving him new reasons every day as to why he should find someone else. We would go out to lunch and I would point out all the hot girls that he could be with... I would point out things I couldn't do because I had kids at home, and I would point out that there were all kinds of bad things about being with someone who had been married before. He never listened, but of course he always had a smart comeback for whatever I would say.
One day, I got tired of being referred to as the "friend" and told him that I wanted to be his girlfriend and make this an actual relationship or just call it off right now. He laughed at me and asked when I was going to realize that it already was a relationship... He knew he had opportunities elsewhere, but didn't take them because he knew he had something good with me.
We finally went on a date after that. We had dinner with his family too. Everything was great. I would look forward to seeing my boyfriend everyday. And of course, it was of no shock to anyone. The whole town, pretty much everyone but me, already knew we were dating. They had gotten used to seeing him stop by in the morning for coffee after he got off work, and seeing him there for dinner before he went in to work. They knew that I was the only person that rode on the back of his motorcycle. There was even a time when I was spotted running and jumping in the driver's seat to his truck and refusing to let him leave... He tried to grab me and I wrapped my arms and legs around him and buried my face into his chest. That was a really good day. Until a certain person drove by and told us to take it out of the street that is...
Shortly after that, I knew I was completely in love with him... But I have never been the one to admit that first. So one morning when he came by for coffee, I not so casually brought the subject up by hinting around. He finally looked at me and told me that he had been in love with me since our first kiss, and even more so when I decided that he and I were actually dating.
Love does exist, and I am so happy to realize that it does.
Love exists in my children. In the way that they run to give me a hug when I pick them up after a long day at work. In the way they try to help around the house. Love exists!
Tonight, we got a new puppy... Her name is Charli. That's right, Charli... No "e" because she's a girl. She's a lab mix, my boyfriend's sister gave her to me. And she's so sweet. The first thing Micheal did was pick her up and immediately tell her that her name was Charli. Yes, he named yet another dog, and it stuck because Kyle began to call her that too and it grew on me. The next thing he did was say "I love you Charli." My little boy loves our new dog. Love does exist.
Another way that I know love exists: When I moved back to town and immediately fell into a pattern of old mistakes, I did a sorry job of getting out of that pattern, I went into another bad pattern. I came back to my sister's house one day after work and immediately grabbed a drink. I then proceeded to make myself into an idiot. This guy I knew stopped to pick on my sister, and I went out and insisted that he pull his truck over and come talk to me because I hadn't seen him since he was little. He stayed half the night and talked to me. The next night, he came back (although I will never understand why). The night after that, which was quite possibly the worst that week, he came back again and I realized this was probably one of the nicest guys I knew and he would make a pretty good friend.
Fast forward to a week later- I was still in a bad pattern of mistakes... Still drinking, but not as much. He continued to come by every night, and I continued to enjoy hanging out with my new found friend. I kissed him on the cheek that night when he left. And when he went to say something about it, I really kissed him.
The next day, I pretended that it had never happened. I didn't want to start a new relationship, and especially not with him... I kissed him goodbye again that night though, I just really liked those kisses.
One night I poured my heart out and explained to him that I didn't want anything other than what we were right then; friends that would kiss every now and then, but just friends. I told him that I wasn't the person that he needed in his life and gave him every reason in the world as to why he should leave and never come back. He kissed me that night and continued to come over every night.
After yet another night of me giving this wonderful man every reason in the world why I wasn't the person for him, he left, kissed me goodbye, and I sat crying in the living room sure that it had worked this time. My sister was sure that I was nuts for trying to make him run away and then crying when I thought it had worked. That night, I got the longest text I had ever seen on my phone. It basically said that he would always be there waiting until I was ready, he wasn't giving up on me. I started to let myself fall in love with him after that text, but refused to let him know it.
I would still test him by giving him new reasons every day as to why he should find someone else. We would go out to lunch and I would point out all the hot girls that he could be with... I would point out things I couldn't do because I had kids at home, and I would point out that there were all kinds of bad things about being with someone who had been married before. He never listened, but of course he always had a smart comeback for whatever I would say.
One day, I got tired of being referred to as the "friend" and told him that I wanted to be his girlfriend and make this an actual relationship or just call it off right now. He laughed at me and asked when I was going to realize that it already was a relationship... He knew he had opportunities elsewhere, but didn't take them because he knew he had something good with me.
We finally went on a date after that. We had dinner with his family too. Everything was great. I would look forward to seeing my boyfriend everyday. And of course, it was of no shock to anyone. The whole town, pretty much everyone but me, already knew we were dating. They had gotten used to seeing him stop by in the morning for coffee after he got off work, and seeing him there for dinner before he went in to work. They knew that I was the only person that rode on the back of his motorcycle. There was even a time when I was spotted running and jumping in the driver's seat to his truck and refusing to let him leave... He tried to grab me and I wrapped my arms and legs around him and buried my face into his chest. That was a really good day. Until a certain person drove by and told us to take it out of the street that is...
Shortly after that, I knew I was completely in love with him... But I have never been the one to admit that first. So one morning when he came by for coffee, I not so casually brought the subject up by hinting around. He finally looked at me and told me that he had been in love with me since our first kiss, and even more so when I decided that he and I were actually dating.
Love does exist, and I am so happy to realize that it does.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Please Excuse The Mess...
Geesh... I'm trying desperately to get my house back in order today. I can remember a time when nothing would ever be out of place. Micheal was not mobile yet... LOL And I was a stay at home mom. I didn't have much to do... And then, he started crawling and pulling himself up. It was okay, he still wasn't that bad. I adjusted. Then he was walking and running, and making bigger messes... I adjusted. Then Kyle was born. I was exhausted from taking care of a newborn and running after a two year old. I eventually adjusted... Then Kyle mobilized... I adjusted, yet again. I went back to work... I was exhausted from work, running after a two year old and 8 month old, but I adjusted. AGAIN!
Now that it is just me, full time, with a two year old and four year old, working full time, and going to school, while still trying to have a life, I am unsure of how to adjust. I'm exhausted, and having a perfect house and yard is no longer of any importance to me... I feel that it should be okay to simply say "Please excuse the mess." and leave it at that. But that just wouldn't work, now would it?
Now that it is just me, full time, with a two year old and four year old, working full time, and going to school, while still trying to have a life, I am unsure of how to adjust. I'm exhausted, and having a perfect house and yard is no longer of any importance to me... I feel that it should be okay to simply say "Please excuse the mess." and leave it at that. But that just wouldn't work, now would it?
Friday, August 20, 2010
Depressed...
So, I am looking at pictures today and can't help but to wonder why? Why didn't he ever follow through on those plans with me? Why her? Why did he do all the things he did???
I can say it doesn't matter, it's all in the past, but in reality, it does matter. Why was I never good enough?
I don't want to be with him... I don't want him within a thousand miles of me actually, which is why the current situation works so well, but I just feel like I need at least a half-decent answer to these questions.
I can say it doesn't matter, it's all in the past, but in reality, it does matter. Why was I never good enough?
I don't want to be with him... I don't want him within a thousand miles of me actually, which is why the current situation works so well, but I just feel like I need at least a half-decent answer to these questions.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Another Day...
Well people, I survived and came to work another day...
I was so proud yesterday that I got all of my bills paid, and then I remembered that I have a dentist appointment tomorrow... It's going to cost me about $250. Needless to say, I don't have that much left in my account. I have enough to pay daycare next week and to get gas to come to work... Maybe enough for food. After that, nothing. I have no clue what I am going to do... I am so frustrated with myself right now... I have never done this before.
I wish that Gary would start actually paying his back child support. I need that money right now.
Frustrations of being a single mom and on the edge not knowing when you are no longer employed in Southwest GA... Yay...
I was so proud yesterday that I got all of my bills paid, and then I remembered that I have a dentist appointment tomorrow... It's going to cost me about $250. Needless to say, I don't have that much left in my account. I have enough to pay daycare next week and to get gas to come to work... Maybe enough for food. After that, nothing. I have no clue what I am going to do... I am so frustrated with myself right now... I have never done this before.
I wish that Gary would start actually paying his back child support. I need that money right now.
Frustrations of being a single mom and on the edge not knowing when you are no longer employed in Southwest GA... Yay...
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Don't Let Him See You Cry
I'm posting this because it seems to be what I feel lately... I love Steven, but I am so scared to let him see it and so scared to show any emotion at all in from of him... I think after what Gary put me through for so long it's just going to take some time, but still. Anyhow, here goes...
Don't Let Him See You Cry
By: Alicia Lee Canington
Keep you voice steady,
Keep your breathing right,
Whatever you do,
Don't look him in the eye.
Whatever you do,
Don't let him see you cry.
Don't let him know,
Don't let him see,
He cannot know,
It's him you need.
So keep your voice steady,
Keep your breathing right,
And whatever you do,
Don't look him in the eye.
Whatever you do,
Don't let him see you cry.
Never let him see you cry.
By: Alicia Lee Canington
Keep you voice steady,
Keep your breathing right,
Whatever you do,
Don't look him in the eye.
Whatever you do,
Don't let him see you cry.
Don't let him know,
Don't let him see,
He cannot know,
It's him you need.
So keep your voice steady,
Keep your breathing right,
And whatever you do,
Don't look him in the eye.
Whatever you do,
Don't let him see you cry.
Never let him see you cry.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Geesh...
It has been forever and a day now since I last posted on this blog. I feel awful!
So much has happened, I don't know where to begin. I can tell you all that I am finally happier than I have been in a long time, although I am at the same time very stressed. One thing that no one tells you is that even if you are used to raising two kids on your own with no help or break from your spouse it is extremely difficult when you are doing it with little to no monetary help from them after the relationship is over.
I am back in school, which adds to my stress, but it is so nice to be able to say that I will most definitely be completing my degree very soon! :) I'm actually doing quite well in my classes now. I am working hard to find a balance between life, taking care of my kids, working, and doing schoolwork, and I think I am finally getting into the swing of things.
I started dating a few months ago... That didn't start out very well. I also had a friend that was just always there for me. The thing is, the more he was around, the more I wanted to talk to him about everything and the more I learned to trust him. I finally (in true Alicia fashion) absolutely lost my temper with him one day and told him that he needed to be a man and ask me out if he actually cared for me that way. We have officially been dating for about 6 weeks, but I think if you really want to count how long we've been seeing each other, it's more like 3 months. I adore him... He is a total sweetheart and I care for him more than I ever thought that I could.
The kids are doing great. Micheal goes back to school next week. I'm so nervous for him. I think he should do well. Kyle is Kyle. He's smart as a whip and just can't wait to do everything. He's also my little sweetheart. I don't know what I would do without those boys, they are my world.
Another tidbit, I bought a house!!! I love it. It's small, but it is mine and it's perfect for me and the boys...
Well, that's about all I have for now, I need to get ahead on my schoolwork. :)
So much has happened, I don't know where to begin. I can tell you all that I am finally happier than I have been in a long time, although I am at the same time very stressed. One thing that no one tells you is that even if you are used to raising two kids on your own with no help or break from your spouse it is extremely difficult when you are doing it with little to no monetary help from them after the relationship is over.
I am back in school, which adds to my stress, but it is so nice to be able to say that I will most definitely be completing my degree very soon! :) I'm actually doing quite well in my classes now. I am working hard to find a balance between life, taking care of my kids, working, and doing schoolwork, and I think I am finally getting into the swing of things.
I started dating a few months ago... That didn't start out very well. I also had a friend that was just always there for me. The thing is, the more he was around, the more I wanted to talk to him about everything and the more I learned to trust him. I finally (in true Alicia fashion) absolutely lost my temper with him one day and told him that he needed to be a man and ask me out if he actually cared for me that way. We have officially been dating for about 6 weeks, but I think if you really want to count how long we've been seeing each other, it's more like 3 months. I adore him... He is a total sweetheart and I care for him more than I ever thought that I could.
The kids are doing great. Micheal goes back to school next week. I'm so nervous for him. I think he should do well. Kyle is Kyle. He's smart as a whip and just can't wait to do everything. He's also my little sweetheart. I don't know what I would do without those boys, they are my world.
Another tidbit, I bought a house!!! I love it. It's small, but it is mine and it's perfect for me and the boys...
Well, that's about all I have for now, I need to get ahead on my schoolwork. :)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Why?
Why does it seem like whenever I am really trying to get things together that's when it blows up in my face?
I'm so frustrated today... I have an offer in on the most beautiful house, HAD a preapproval from my bank for the mortgage, but now, nothing. I've contacted a federal agency that I refer my clients to, but who knows if I qualify since I have a job and actually try to do the right thing. I've never been on government assistance and don't want to start, but I'm about to start rethinking it all. I'm just so frustrated.
My preapproval was taken away because upon further investigation my job that I have now is not related to my previous position. I knew this and was upfront about it. I never lied. Now I'm worried that I won't be able to get a loan on my house and I really don't want to have to rent for the next two years to build up work history. I'll never be able to save money that way...
Well, I'll talk to you all soon.
I'm so frustrated today... I have an offer in on the most beautiful house, HAD a preapproval from my bank for the mortgage, but now, nothing. I've contacted a federal agency that I refer my clients to, but who knows if I qualify since I have a job and actually try to do the right thing. I've never been on government assistance and don't want to start, but I'm about to start rethinking it all. I'm just so frustrated.
My preapproval was taken away because upon further investigation my job that I have now is not related to my previous position. I knew this and was upfront about it. I never lied. Now I'm worried that I won't be able to get a loan on my house and I really don't want to have to rent for the next two years to build up work history. I'll never be able to save money that way...
Well, I'll talk to you all soon.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Wow... It's been a while!
Sorry it's been a while everyone. I just got on and realized that it has quite literally been forever since the last time I posted.
A lot has happened in the last month and a half. I of course moved to Georgia, I have a wonderful job at the Neighborhood Center in the town I grew up in, and my divorce is final. That's all the big news... There are lots of little things that are happening and that have already happened. I won't go into everything right now, but I will say that I am happy. For the first time in a really long time I am happy to wake up in the mornings. Happy to see my kids, happy to go to work, and happy to go back home at the end of the day. Don't get me wrong, I loved my job in Indiana, and I was quite happy there, but at the end of the day I only had my job and my kids to be happy about and a whole bunch to be unhappy about, it just would never have worked...
Well, I am going to get back to work now, I will talk to you all soon, I promise...
A lot has happened in the last month and a half. I of course moved to Georgia, I have a wonderful job at the Neighborhood Center in the town I grew up in, and my divorce is final. That's all the big news... There are lots of little things that are happening and that have already happened. I won't go into everything right now, but I will say that I am happy. For the first time in a really long time I am happy to wake up in the mornings. Happy to see my kids, happy to go to work, and happy to go back home at the end of the day. Don't get me wrong, I loved my job in Indiana, and I was quite happy there, but at the end of the day I only had my job and my kids to be happy about and a whole bunch to be unhappy about, it just would never have worked...
Well, I am going to get back to work now, I will talk to you all soon, I promise...
Monday, February 8, 2010
11 Days...
I have an appointment with my attorney tomorrow afternoon and, if all goes well, I will be signing papers by the end of the week... I'm so excited, I just can't wait to have this all over with...
It's my last week at work... I'm very sad about that. I love my job and I hate leaving. I love the people there... Even if some of them get on my nerves at times. I wish I could pack my job up and bring it with me.
I packed three huge suitcases yesterday. The worst part of that is that it was only maybe half of my clothes... That's scary. I plan to have a yardsale and scale down quite a bit once I get down there...
Well, time to go for now... Talk to you soon.
It's my last week at work... I'm very sad about that. I love my job and I hate leaving. I love the people there... Even if some of them get on my nerves at times. I wish I could pack my job up and bring it with me.
I packed three huge suitcases yesterday. The worst part of that is that it was only maybe half of my clothes... That's scary. I plan to have a yardsale and scale down quite a bit once I get down there...
Well, time to go for now... Talk to you soon.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
12 Days...
12 days until I'm back in Georgia... Seems so near and so far at the same time. Luckily, I have work this week to keep me somewhat preoccupied, but that's not really true because I've given my entire workload out to my assistants and I'm really only playing supervisor and putting out fires as they come along.
Yesterday, to pass the time, I threw out a ton of things that I'll have no use for anymore... Today, I'm going to pack some things. I figure if I pack today and a little every evening this week, it should make things a lot easier for the move.
I'm trying to make a checklist now of different things to make sure I get done... Like getting the boys' medical records, Micheal's school records, Mack's medical records, and goodness knows what else.
Well, I'm going to get going for now... Talk to you all soon.
Yesterday, to pass the time, I threw out a ton of things that I'll have no use for anymore... Today, I'm going to pack some things. I figure if I pack today and a little every evening this week, it should make things a lot easier for the move.
I'm trying to make a checklist now of different things to make sure I get done... Like getting the boys' medical records, Micheal's school records, Mack's medical records, and goodness knows what else.
Well, I'm going to get going for now... Talk to you all soon.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Rough day...
We came to an agreement on child support today. I have to say that it hurt me to the core... $45 a week. That's $22.50 per kid, $180 a month, and a whole $2,340 a year... I lost my mind and called Gary to scream at him when I first got that email, but while on the phone I realized that, hey, this is what I want, I don't need him or his money to take care of me and my children, this is my out. So, I'm taking it, this way he can say that his piddly little $45 a week is supporting his children and I can simply be out of the trauma that I have experienced with him...
Well, I'm gonna go. I'm really excited about knowing that I will be back home in two weeks, but I am exhausted today...
Well, I'm gonna go. I'm really excited about knowing that I will be back home in two weeks, but I am exhausted today...
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Holding it together...
There seem to be days lately where I am just holding it together and not much else. Yesterday was one of those days... I went to my parenting class, which is basically a $50 joke designed to make parents feel bad about getting a divorce, then they turn around and tell you that everything will be okay. I was surrounded by people talking about their boyfriends and girlfriends and future plans for marraige and all I could think was "HELLOOOOOO... Have you lost your minds? You're in a divorce seminar! Didn't you learn your lesson the first time? Why don't you at least give yourself some time to heal and process? At least for your kids..." And I did say something to that affect once which had the teacher proud of me and the rest of the people attending the seminar quite unhappy...
Back to the holding it together thing. After I got home from this thing, I ate some lunch and talked to the neighbor for a bit. Then Gary came back early. He wanted to talk about his therapy session and "us". There are many times that I want to scream that there is no "us" we're getting divorced. But I didn't, I tried to listen... Then I walked out. After so many years of being mistreated, all I can hear when he talks "Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie..." and I grow very tired of listening to it.
Well, I've gotta run now, talk to you all soon...
Back to the holding it together thing. After I got home from this thing, I ate some lunch and talked to the neighbor for a bit. Then Gary came back early. He wanted to talk about his therapy session and "us". There are many times that I want to scream that there is no "us" we're getting divorced. But I didn't, I tried to listen... Then I walked out. After so many years of being mistreated, all I can hear when he talks "Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie..." and I grow very tired of listening to it.
Well, I've gotta run now, talk to you all soon...
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Working out...
Okay, so I'll admit it, I let myself get out of shape... Way out of shape. I have at times been a size zero, but the norm was a two... After Micheal, I was somewhere between a two and a four, depending on the cut of the jeans. After Kyle, it was a four, the two just was not happening. I stayed a four up until about a year and a half ago, maybe not that long... The fours started getting tight, I dealt with it, just sucked my gut in and kept going. Well, that stopped working... I broke down and bought two pairs of size six pants. I've been living in those, and I'm not very proud of it. See, in all reality, a six is still small, but to be as short as I am, a six looks big to me. I'm not happy when I look in the mirror right now... So, I decided to do what I can to improve that. On top of tanning, I'm going to start working out... And I'm going to try to diet. Try is the key word there because food just looks so good. And with the divorce right now and being low on cash, I'm just always willing to take what's given to me which isn't necessarily the healthiest options.
My goal is to be back in a four, and be fit, by summer so that I can wear one of my old bikinis. Who knows, I may try for a two... A two would be very nice.
My goal is to be back in a four, and be fit, by summer so that I can wear one of my old bikinis. Who knows, I may try for a two... A two would be very nice.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Boring and uneventful...
That pretty much describes my day... Nothing happened at work. Kaylynn and I pretty much counted down the hours today until it was time to leave. It's funny how the last hour, we go back and forth with the exact minutes until time to go on instant messenger. That's how boring the end of the day is...
Kaylynn did, however, clue me in on the best tanning salon I've ever been to today. We went after work and it was so nice to just lay in a tanning bed and relax. Unfortunately, the clock went off and I had to get out... But there's always tomorrow, and everyday until I leave for Georgia. :)
Talk to you all later...
Kaylynn did, however, clue me in on the best tanning salon I've ever been to today. We went after work and it was so nice to just lay in a tanning bed and relax. Unfortunately, the clock went off and I had to get out... But there's always tomorrow, and everyday until I leave for Georgia. :)
Talk to you all later...
I went shopping...
I forgot to post yesterday that I went shopping... I couldn't afford to buy a lot, but it was nice to be able to shop for myself without having to worry about someone breathing down my neck about it when I got back to the house. I even saw a few things for my new place that I'm thinking of buying... Since Micheal was born, I haven't been able to do this because I always had to listen to how we can't afford it. It was nice to be able to make that decision for myself for once, and it's not like I went hog wild, I bought an outfit and a purse and did a lot of window shopping...
My next purchase will be bedding for myself in my new place and decor. I'm fairly excited. I also get to buy furniture... This will be the first time I've ever bought furniture, Gary did all of that before...
Well, talk to you all later...
My next purchase will be bedding for myself in my new place and decor. I'm fairly excited. I also get to buy furniture... This will be the first time I've ever bought furniture, Gary did all of that before...
Well, talk to you all later...
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